My granddad was the one who first called it the Ranch. He said something like, “If George Bush can have a ranch, so can I.” And from then on, so it was called. Yesterday, while I was out and and about, I caught some video … thought maybe you’d like to see where I am and what it’s like here. Plus, I don’t ever want to forget.

The Ranch from Krista Maurer on Vimeo.

1. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, about the “perfect” plan you’re laying out for your life will turn out the way you’re hoping. And oh, girl–will that suck. And sometimes it will hurt–badly. BUT. It WILL be okay. I promise. In the end, your life will be more colorful than you can even imagine. You will have experiences you can’t even dream up right now. You will see things and be a part of things that will settle into your bones and propel you forward with passion. You will meet really important people, people who will change your life and come to mean the world to you. And you wouldn’t have met them if things turned out the way you wanted. Just go with it. Get mad when you need to get mad, and cry when you need to cry. We’re not really good at not getting our way, I know. And like I said, it will hurt. And sometimes it’ll be hard. But getting mad and being sad, is okay. Don’t forget that, yeah? Just … every once in a while, take step back and look at the gorgeous, interesting, successful, heartbreaking, happyful life you’ve been given because, AND ONLY because, your plan didn’t turn out. I promise. It really is better than you can plan yourself.
2. Trust your instincts and your follow your tastes. Who cares what other people think? Learn how to be yourself sooner. I spent a long time not doing what I wanted to do and not being who I wanted to be because I was too worried about everyone else.
3. Take “just because” classes at college. At least one a semester. There are so many things to learn and so many things that interest you. Just learn.
4. DO THE STUDY ABROAD.
5. Start a savings account. Seriously. Start. a. savings. account.
6. Be nicer to your skin, especially the skin around your eyes. Don’t tug on it as much as you do, and don’t forget to wash your face every night, and for heaven’s sake–moisturize, moisturize, moisturize.
7. Don’t listen to your parents. Join the Peace Corps.
8. The heartbreak will pass. Really. It will. And actually, you’d be smarter to not fall for him in the first place. That was one of the stupidest choices I ever made. So yeah. Just don’t go there.
9. Keep a journal. Seriously. Keep a journal.
10. Learn how to talk to Heavenly Father. Like for real talk. Not the stupid, pointless, repetitive prayers you pray most of the time. Learn how to have an actual conversation with Him and learn how to hear Him. Listen more.
11. Enjoy every second of that summer fling you’ll have with the Frenchman. And in fact–kiss him more than you already will. And don’t ever regret it. Don’t let yourself think that it “wasn’t the best idea.” Because you were living. Honest to goodness living. And you were experiencing all sorts of tastes and sights and sounds and feelings that will make you a richer woman in the long run.
12. Don’t get those bright, chunky blonde highlights. Just don’t do it. It’s a horrible idea.
13. Learn how to exercise. You have been battling your body long enough. Save yourself from another decade of war. Be better to it. Stop hating it. And love it.
14. Read more.

So when I was in high school, that movie Jerry Maguire came out. You know, the one with Tom Cruise and Cuba Gooding Jr.? (“Show me the money!”) Right. So you know that part when Jerry and Renee Zellweger’s character (what’s her name?) are in the elevator with the deaf couple and the she translates what the deaf guy signs to his girlfriend–”You, complete me.”

And then at the end of the movie Jerry comes to Renee’s house and delivers that speech trying to win her back and uses the same line–”You, complete me.”

Oh gosh. When I was 18, I was pretty certain I’d never heard anything more romantic. You. complete. me. How utterly dreamy. To find this person who fills in all your gaps and holes. To finally be totally put together, all your missing pieces found, because of their mere presence in your life. I mean, that’s the stuff of a true love story, right?

Well. I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want that at all.

What I want, is to be complete, with or without you. I want to be wholly me whether you’re here or not. I don’t want to wait for the day when you arrive for me to finally be whole.

No. I don’t want you to complete me at all.

But I do want to be more of the complete me, because of you.

That’s all.

Love you.

-me

Meet Gertrude, Betsie, & Flossie.

Gertrude is a quiet soul. She spends much of her time in the kitchen baking her famous carrot cake, and lives to have friends visit for afternoon tea.

Betsie is quite the romantic and is ears over tail for Peter Cottontail, who gives the best bunny kisses ever–or so Betsie says.

And then there’s Flossie–outgoing and friendly, she knows everybunny this side of Mr. McGreggor’s, and can dance up a storm at the Friday night bunny hops.

If you’d like to make some bunnies of your own, I was on Good Things Utah this morning sharing this very simple craft just in time for Easter. It’s perfect for kids to do too or you can surprise them with their very own bunny in their Easter basket. Enjoy.

My birthday was perfect. And I’m beginning to wonder if I shouldn’t celebrate New Year’s on my birthday. It feels … fresher. I woke last Monday morning feeling so full of life, so happy to be alive, so ready to be 34. I felt more hopeful this year than I have in many a birthday. And I made a list–a list of 34 hopes for this coming year. It’s going to be a good one. I feel it.

1. Make peace with my body. That is–to love it as it is and for what it can do, to carefully and kindly coax it to where it needs to be, and to shape it into something that more closely matches who I really am.
2. Find him. Or rather–be found.
3. Launch Be.
4. Yoga more.
5. Meditate more.
6. Eliminate the remaining meat in my diet/Enjoy more whole foods.
7. Keep a journal.
8. Spend lots of time with my family members, especially my niece and my nephew-on-the-way.
9. Visit the temple more.
10. Cut back on media.
11. Pay off remaining debt.
12. Follow a routine sleeping schedule.
13. Reconnect with a old friends.
14. See something breathtaking that I’ve never seen.
15. Go somewhere I’ve never been.
16. Plant more.
17. Become a better photographer.
18. Write more letters.
19. Sew quilts–lots of them.
20. Learn a new creative skill.
21. Read more books.
22. Do something that scares me.
23. Take more opportunities to serve.
24. Feel peace, purpose, and happiness.
25. Find my style.
26. Laugh. A lot.
27. Quit sugar.
28. Travel.
29. Explore and experience Utah.
30. Get a new car.
31. Run a mile @ 5 mph.
32. Paint my nails regularly.
33. Write my life (to this point) story.
34. Become more me.

1. This first one squeaked in just barely before 33 becomes 34, and I’ll write more about it soon, but tonight I sang in the historic Tabernacle on Temple Square. This was by far, one of the coolest things I’ve ever done in my entire life.
2. A couple weekends ago I took a last minute trip to visit my sister and her family in Arizona. That’s basically code for: I needed to see my Laela-cakes. (Laela Carolina is my 2-year-old niece.) How I could love that little girl as much as I do is beyond me. But anyway, on the first day, we were riding in the car and I was sitting beside her in the backseat and while the sun streamed through the windows, she took my hand … just … because. No one told her too. I didn’t ask her too. I didn’t hold out my hand. She just–took it. And I promptly melted into a puddle of mush as she stole my heart, once again.
3.  Speaking of sisters … last April, my sisters, brothers-in-law, and that little smoochy-pop Laela convened in AZ for a couple of Atlanta Braves games. I loved everything about this–the minivan we roadtripped in, the drive itself, the games, our niece, time together, Arizona sunshine. Good memories all around.
4. During the summer, at one of the local Rooftop Concerts … I went by myself and I was a little sad about that as I sat in my camp chair under a big, soft quilt with lanterns and stars strung above me. And Peter Breinholt was performing his encore–”What About.” That song has a lot of good memories attached to it–memories of summer nights past, of my mission, of college, and just lots of really deep, really happy feelings. And I couldn’t help but feel but feel really happy, despite my sad, and I was content and euphoric in a way I hadn’t been in a while.
5. That time I went to visit Florida. My granddad had passed and I was really missing him, but I got up early one morning and drove around the property just like I would have done if he’d been there and he felt close.
6. Last Spring I got into a morning walking habit and there were so many times as I finished my walk that the sun was just coming up over the mountains. This Earth. It takes my breath away.
7. Cheering my baby sister Kaycie over her last mountain at the end of her 200 mile relay. Screaming for her and squeezing her so tight when she crossed the line. I think that’s what it’ll be like when we get to heaven.
8. Fourth of July is always the best day. Parades, taffy, picnics, heat, sprinklers, sparklers, fireworks. It’s a day where everything is right in America.
9. Sitting on the beach on Hilton Head. All I did was sit and watch the waves. Which is ultimately, all I need.
10. Last month, Frit‘s and my home teachers invited us over for dinner. When we got there, we found that the Bishop of our ward and his wife, as well as another family from our neighborhood had also been invited. The adults chatted around the table and ate homemade pizza while the kids played. Pretty soon, one of the little boys (6 or 7?) asked if we could sings hymns and Primary songs around the piano. So we all went downstairs to sing. And I just couldn’t help my happy. And I thought, “I love my neighborhood! And I really love being a Mormon!”
11. Learning to can my tomatoes and seeing them finished and sealed on the counter all shiny and red was super rewarding.
12. My Word of Wisdom experiment for Church was a string of really interesting and enlightening moments that blessed my life, my body, and my spirit immeasurably.
13. Taking my impromptu Fall Color Drive. Utah in the Fall. Oh my.
14. Having my sister and Lae visit and becoming, even more, the best auntie ever. Watching All Dogs Go to Heaven on the LoveSac under a blanket with her was absolutely the best.
15. Last Fall I took a business trip to Denver and on an afternoon wandering around the city, I ducked into a Methodist sanctuary for a few minutes. It was so peaceful and beautiful.
16. Our first snowfall. It was really beautiful and I found myself really excited about Winter. I’m now totally over that and have dubbed this the worst Winter ever, but there at the beginning? Really pretty.
17. These is My Words was my favorite Book Club book this year and finishing the last few chapters reminded me why I love reading, what a romantic I am, and what a sucker I am for a good story. Great book. Great memory.
18. One night Frit wasn’t going to be home until really late so I stopped off for some crunchy red grapes, gourmet cheese, crusty bread and fresh pressed grape juice. Once home, I spun the “Midnight in Paris” soundtrack, spread out my vintage white, embroidered tablecloth from Scotland, found my wooden plates from Germany, poured myself some olive oil and balsamic vinegar for dipping, filled one of my stemmed glasses with juice for sipping, and had the most delightful dinner for one. Then I took a bubble bath.
19. Climbing the Utah hills trying to find the perfect Christmas tree is always one of my most favorite days of the year. And of course sitting by it once it’s all lit up is the best way to slow the holidays down.
20. My work Christmas party is always fancy fantastic. This year, we were at the swankiest hotel in SLC, the Grand America, with plates of salmon and filet mignon. The employee gift is always crazy awesome, this year it was an Apple TV with a $100 iTunes gift card, and I always valet park at these events. (Gah! I love valet.) But perhaps the best part of the night was the pair of gold glitter heels I bought special for the occasion. I LOVE those shoes. And I love the memories of fancy dinners downtown during the holidays.
21. About a year ago, my BFF/college roommate came in to town to take me out for my birthday. As we were sitting across the table, talking about her recent marriage to a gem of a guy, I asked how the baby-making was going. That’s when she got a huge smile on her face and burst with the news that she was expecting. I was the first to know (besides her husband of course) and it was one of those memories that will go down as one of the happiest moments of my life. There is something deep and eternal about friendships like that and to share so many years together as “singles” binds you in an inexplicable way. To hear she was expecting, after wondering for so long how, when, and even if the right guy could would/could be found, was so special. I also got to host her baby shower.
22. Along those same lines, when I finally met her precious little man in December, it was such a happy day. He and I snuggled on the couch most of the afternoon and I was immediately hooked.
23. In August, I had the opportunity to speak at a conference (Retreat for Girls) for girls ages 12-15. The purpose of the retreat is to help the girls develop lifelong friendships and increasing their self-esteem and testimony of Christ. Preparing for and delivering my message was a huge blessing and I learned so much.
24. Right after my 33rd birthday, I called a photographer friend to ask if she would do a photo shoot for me. Like a real one. So I’d have legitimate documentation of what I was like at 33. On the day of the shoot, I found myself having serious anxiety, thinking all the thoughts girls think on occasion–I’m not pretty enough. What was I thinking? I can’t do this. My hair isn’t right. My clothes are stupid. My eyelashes aren’t long and thick. Pretty soon, I was crying a soupy mess in my bathroom–eyes red, one of them gobbed and sticky with fake eyelash glue, make-up completely streaky. It was not pretty. But I stopped and really looked at myself in the mirror. And I reminded myself of what I know to be true–about myself, about God, and about my worth. And I put the glue down, washed my face, put on a new light coat of make-up, grabbed the clothes I felt most comfy in and had a wonderful photo shoot where I felt pretty and special and worthfull.
25. I love getting all my friends’ Christmas card updates. I love seeing their family photos and hearing all about what they’re doing. I’ve always wanted to send a card out too, but I thought it was maybe a little silly since it’s “just” me. I’ve always told myself, once I have a family then I’m “allowed” to send a card. This year, though, I decided that was just plain ridiculous. What if I never have a family? I will have wasted years not doing something I wanted to do, for absolutely no good reason. So I changed my mind, designed a card, slapped a big picture of my solo face (from the awesome photo shoot) on it and sent 150 cards to the people who matter to me. Best decision ever.
26. Watching videos of my niece dance brought me more joy this last year than anything. Seriously. Anything.
27. My baby sister called me on her way home from work one day. She was crying, but happy and blurted out, “I’m pregnant! I just took the test at work, I didn’t think it’d be positive, but it is! And Alex [her husband] is at school until late tonight and I had to tell someone!” Best day ever. Our baby is having a baby!
28. My parents came to town for a visit and after dinner one night I pulled out some games. Kayc (baby sister), Alex (brother-in-law who I actually call Lexie), Frit, my mom, and my dad (we finally talked him into playing), began a round of Telestrations and I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in forever. That game is one of the funnest and funniest games ever created. I couldn’t breath I was laughing so hard.
29. While I don’t know if I could classify being a “mom” for a week one of the funnest things I’ve done while being 33, it still gets put on this list because it was a remarkable experience. It was hard, in a way I couldn’t have comprehended before doing it, and rewarding (at times), and a blessing immeasurable. I’m so grateful to be someone my friends feel they can call. I’m grateful they trust me. And I really love their children.
30. Being the choir director at Church this last year might have been the hardest calling I’ve ever had. I mean seriously, who actually wants to be in the ward choir? We haven’t had a regular choir in our ward in years. But. I worked hard to form one. I encouraged people to come (i.e. guilted them into it), and we performed every month. And by the end of the year, we performed what I’m told was one of the “best Christmas programs” they’d ever seen. Score. AND I actually fell in love with the calling.
31. When I was hired at this “new” job, I had to take a design class at the community college, so I’d have all the skills they needed. And designing marketing pieces this last year has been so fun. When my first design arrived from the printer, I was like a kid on Christmas morning. It was so exciting to see what I’d created in hard copy.
32. Last March, I gifted myself a cello for my birthday. I’ve wanted to play that instrument for about 30 years. So I decided to just do it. When I pulled the bow across the strings for the first time, the whole instrument vibrated and resonated against my body. It was so beautiful I almost cried.
33. One afternoon, after a lot of fasting and prayer, I chose a name for my magazine. Be Magazine. And I was one step closer to realizing my dream and purpose.

Needless to say, it’s been a really good year. On Monday, I’ll be posting 34 Hopes for 34. Happy Birthday to Me!

I’ve been thinking a lot about this last year and in the process, have found myself writing lists of 33. Here are 33 things I’ve loved (in no particular order):

1. Coconut oil – I use it in the shower and my skin is so much more hydrated. And it’s natural! I plan to start using it in the kitchen now too.
2. The Beginning of Better Days: Divine Instruction to Women from the Prophet Joseph Smith – SUCH a fantastic book. I’ve been taking my read-through slow and deliberate, pondering and journaling along the way.
3. Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Hand Cream – I received this at a neighborhood “favorite things” party (everyone brings 5 things they love, you exchange with 5 other people, and go home with 5 new finds) and it has been my salvation on our extra dry, Utah winter days. It’s thick without being greasy and a little goes a LONG way.
4. ZUMBO Kiss Shea Butter Lip Balm – My boss gave this to me for Christmas and I’m crazy about it. It’s a FAT tube, which I’d never seen in a chapstick before, but I’m now addicted to it. The size of the tube, plus the fact that it has no detergents, phosphates, chlorine, petrochemicals, dyes, and is 100% biodegradable has me sold–hook, line, and sinker.
5. These Is My Words – BEST. BOOK. OF. 33. It was our Book Club book last August and no book has made me feel this deeply in a while. I loved it.
6. Speaking of books. I’ve really loved my Book Club this year. The ladies in my neighborhood are so fantastic and interesting. I love to hear their opinions and spend time with them.
7. New Girl. So if These is My Words was my best book of 33? New Girl was the best show. It’s inappropriate at times (okay, a lot) but there is no other show that makes me belly-laugh SO HARD, EVERY episode.
8. my iPhone – I was so against jumping on the smartphone bandwagon and I took such pride in my former dumbphone. But what the heck? How did I ever live without my iPhone. I love her.
9. Instagram – favorite social media app. Period.
10. GotPrint.com – I use GotPrint for all my work printing needs. They’re cheap and fast and make my designs look so. dang. good.
11. My cello – I need to find a new teacher–mine quit teaching and went back to school. So my practicing the last half of last year was pretty much non-existent. But I love that I basically know how to play the cello. Finally. Now I just need to get good.
12. Savannah Bee Co. – Y’all, I love me some honey. I discovered Savannah Bee last summer and I use the Royal Jelly Body Butter every night on my arms and elbows (oh it smells so good) and I use the Beeswax Hand and Nail Salve every night on my hands. (Can you tell it’s been a dry year in the desert? My skin has been so chapped and cracked and flaked.)
13. Shrimp ‘n Grits from The Backyard on Hilton Head Island – I can’t explain how much I love that food. I really can’t. It almost makes me cry; it’s so good.
14. YouTube. Here are my favorite videos.
15. The best pens: The Sharpie pen, fine point in black (VERY important details). It’s perfect for scripture marking (doesn’t bleed or smudge). And the Pilot G-2 .38 or the 05 (do NOT get the 07), in black, of course. Perfect for journaling and correspondence. Trust me, people. I’m an expert.
16. My iMac at work. Oh, she’s huge and shiny and fast and has all the software I could ever need.
17. Little Caesars – I’d like to kiss whomever invented $5 Hot-&-Ready pizza available from a drive-through window. And I’m embarrassed to admit how many times a month I swing through that drive-through. But I love it.
18. Sally Hansen’s Diamond Strength nail polish in Heart to Heart. The stuff doesn’t chip. And it’s the perfect red.
19. My antique silver pendent featuring a line drawing portrait of my Great-Great Grandma Rebecca. The portrait was drawn by her husband and my mother gave it to me this last year. Whenever I wear it I feel like I have my female ancestry around me, strengthening me, and helping me.
20. Fresh tomato sammys from the garden. There are few things that feel more like summer, than picking a juicy, red tomato from the garden, slicing it up, and eating it on thick wheat bread with mayo, lettuce, and cheese. I can’t wait for summer!
21. Sweet Tooth Fairy cupcakes. There’s a STF bake shop WAY too close to my work and I LOVE the double fudge cupcake.
22. Bed Head by TIGI’s After Party styling cream. I don’t use a lot of hair product. Just this stuff and hairspray. It does exactly what it says it does: de-frizzes and shines.
23. Quilt squares made by my Grandma. They’re probably 50 or 60 years old (maybe older) and I’m so thrilled to have them and finish the quilt she started so long ago.
24. My peonies! They bloomed beautifully this second year and I can’t wait to see what they do this year.
25. Our grill. Well, technically it’s Frit’s, but my friend Chef Whitney came to visit and taught us, finally, how to use it. We grilled a bunch this past summer/fall and I love that we girls now know how to fire it up and cook a mean steak without any help from the boys. Which is good. Because well … there are no boys.
26. Scramble. One of the reasons I finally put my phone in the bathroom at night was because I was staying up too late playing this game. Love it.
27. Breakfast at Finn’s. Eggs Benedict or the Norwegian Waffles. Or both if you’re feeling saucy. And don’t forget the hot chocolate. (Thank you, Frit, for introducing me.)
28. Norwex. Cleaning rags that require no disinfectant. Seriously. Goodbye chemicals, hello really clean house. They’re miraculous.
29. Water with lemon. Lots of lemon. Drink of choice. Love it.
30. Early mornings. I’ve rediscovered the morning-time before the sun comes over the mountains and it makes me happy to be up and doing.
31. Rooftop Concert Series. I love outdoor concerts in the summer and last summer’s line-up was stellar.
32. Hulu. But I need to not love Hulu as much as I do.
33. Meditation. Essential for peace and centeredness.

Tomorrow I want to share another list … 33 Memories. Happy Birthday to Me!

Motherhood is not fun. THINKING about motherhood is fun. But the actual doing? Not so much. No don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. I’m so happy I’m here helping my friend, “mothering” her babes. But people. This is exhausting. In a way I never could have comprehended.

Today, I had a one-year-old get progressively sicker … soupy cough and runny nose. He screamed all day. Poor pumkin. I just held him and rubbed his back and tried to do what his mom would do. All the while watching the snot pile up on my shoulder as he rubbed his head back and forth on my sweater.

Speaking of snot. I touched it today. With my bare hand. It wasn’t my snot.

I also got poop on my arm (again, not mine) when the one-year-old flipped mid-tantrum/diaper change.

The four-year-old told me he was going to make mean faces at me after I put him in time out. I told him to go ahead.

There was large amounts of noise at any given moment during the day. Granted this is probably obvious to the mothers out there. But coming from a house where two adult women live, I’m not used to or accostmed to these decibels.

It’s really just non-stop, this mothering. Like, even during naptime when you think, “maybe I’ll lie down for a minute too,” the driveway needs to be shoveled and the dishes from breakfast are in the sink, or laundry needs to be folded.

Tonight Frit came over to drop off some more movies and bring the kids some treats and I sat there like the mean old mom while she got to be the favorite aunt. And speaking of movies…I don’t know what I was thinking when I said I’d never let my kids watch TV. Flushed Away was my Savior today. The 4-year-old watched it twice today (sorry, Camille).

Then, as there was a mad dash to the bathroom for teeth brushing, the 2-year-old needed help. But the one-year-old didn’t want to be put down. But I only have so many arms. So down he went. So he screamed at the top of his lungs at my feet, snot and tears streaming down his face, while I brushed the 2-year-old.

To round out the day, I cried. Yep. It’s a well-known fact that I’m much like a one-year-old. Overly tired? I cry. Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry.

So as we’re having family scripture study, Jesus is calming the winds and waves and I start bawling cuz I just need him to calm the children. Like now.

Finally everyone was in bed. Frit was still upstairs. Essentially, I begged her to stay because I needed to talk to someone “taller than 3 feet.” So like I said…all in bed. And I plop on the couch and I curl up beside her and put my head in her lap (like the 2-year-old did to me today) and cried and cried and cried.

Oh and I almost forgot … after everyone was down and Frit had left, I was doing the dishes and I puked. All. Over. The dishes that I’d just washed. Awesome.

So. Today? Meh. Not so hot. Although we did have some successes:

• Three meals and all appointed snacks, on time.
• 3 of the five were dressed NOT in pajamas.
• I took all five to the aquarium. They loved it.
• No spilled drinks at Cafe Rio.
• Family scripture study!

And tomorrow. I get to do it all over again. :)

My hats go off to you moms. Especially you single moms. You are my heros.

On the plus side, I feel a lot less stressed having puked. Although I did find puke in my hair and on my sweater. (This time, it was mine.)

You curl up under a blanket and have a Doris Day marathon.

Y’all. It’s so cold

Morningtime in my neck of the woods.

1. I have not drunken any soda since the New Year. And I plan to keep it that way for the rest of the year. Next week, I’m eliminating sugary baked goods. The week after that? Candy. Or vice versa. I can’t decide if I’ll miss cupcakes or those little strawberry hard candies with the soft chewy center more. Not that I’ve had either of those in a long time, but the thought of not being able to have them is a terrible predicament.

2. I decided to go full-time at work. I did this because I need health insurance. Because apparently the government has decided it can mandate whether I buy insurance or not. This pisses me off. Especially because the insurance plans available are mostly crap. You pay a lot for nothing in return. For the last 2 1/2 years, I’ve just been livin’ on a prayer, and surviving quite well actually. Luckily I like the company. And my job. And I guess the extra money won’t be so bad either.

3. Speaking of work, yesterday I walked around all. day. long. with a gigantic booger on my chest. Apparently when I blew my nose in the morning, it flew right past the Kleenex and onto my bosom, where it stayed (and hardened) until I noticed it and began to dry heave for no shorter than forty-five seconds. Which is probably what everyone else who came in contact with me yesterday did. Good grief. And I wonder why I’m still single.

4. And speaking of the government pissing me off, I sometimes, most of the time, struggle to internally reconcile all the needs/injustices/problems/causes this world has. My mind is a boggle of questions: How do I maintain political activity when it feels like it really just doesn’t matter what I think? I mean, do we really think anything can be fixed in Washington? And what about crimes against women in India (and all over the world for that matter)? And what about the starving and abandoned children in … everywhere? And what about animal cruelty? And what about the pesticides farmers use when they grow my food? And what about food dyes? And what about illiteracy?

How do you care about it all–and I mean deeply care about it all–like I do? You can’t be an activist for everything. But I want to be.

(Sorry. That one was a little heavy to come right after “booger talk.”)

5. Since the New Year, I’ve been plugging my phone in in the bathroom at night (as opposed to plugging it in right by my bed). This has significantly helped with: a) not browsing the internet, Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest or watching Gossip Girl on Hulu, or Felicity on Netflix until 2 or 3 (or 4!) in the morning. and b) getting up on time in the morning since I can’t just reach over and snooze the alarm. Which I used to do 3 or 4 (or 5!) times/day because I was so tired from looking at my phone half the night.

Bonus 6. I’m incredibly embarrassed by the fact that I just admitted to watching Gossip Girl. It’s a horrible show. Trashy and horrible. Quick story: One time Frit woke up in the middle of the night and heard talking coming from my room. She tip-toed in, only to find me huddled under my sheets, watching said trashy horribleness and asked, “Why are you under your covers?” “Because I didn’t want you to know I was watching this!” It’s awful. It really is. I honestly can’t believe I watch it. I’m so much more intelligent than that show. Don’t judge.

Happy New Year!