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Missing Florida

On New Year’s Day, I moved to Colorado after spending a year and a half in Florida. It was a good choice, coming here. Although, I don’t know how long I’ll stay. It could be a year or two or three. Or it could be for forever. But it’s right, for now. And there is comfort in that. (Who’d’ve ever thought I’d be the girl with no plan, though.)

But despite it being the right thing for now, I’ve been missing Florida a lot lately. I miss my grandmother. I miss the land. I miss my kids and my friends at church. I miss the feeling of purpose I had there. My contributions were meaningful and my life was rich.

This weekend, I emptied my camera for the first time since I moved and found a million pictures of my last week of sunrises. And then I got all homesick for the river.

It really was a heavenly place to live. I’m a lucky girl to have so many homes–so many beautiful homes. This Earth, man. It’s a wonder.

Here are just a few of the millions of pictures I took before heading back to the mountains. Oh, and you really should watch this video I made a couple years ago. It’s been on repeat for me this week. Continue reading →

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How I Came To Be Living In Florida

Frit’s and my home, on the night I pulled out of the driveway and shut the garage for the last time.

Last May, when I knew Frit was about to get engaged, I started looking for a new place to live. Once she got married, she’d be moving to Iowa and I didn’t want to live in our house without her. There was also no way I’d be able to cover the mortgage on my own and I had zero desire, at 34, to start again with new roommates. Salt Lake City seemed like the logical place to look. It was closer to work. And it would provide a (sort of) “fresh start” in a (sort of) new city. I looked at dozens of apartments, but I couldn’t find anything that felt right.

Some might say that doesn’t matter–the “feeling right” bit. Just go where you want to go. Be where you want to be. Make a choice and God’ll use you wherever you land. But I firmly (stubbornly) hold to my expectation that Heavenly Father owes me at least that–a place where I can tangibly feel confident that it’s exactly the right place, at the right time, for me. If I’m to live this unexpected life on my own, then yes, He owes me at least that. (“And hardwood floors, a garden plot, and a walk-in closet, would be nice too,” I told Him one night, only half joking.)

But like I said, nothing felt right. Pretty soon Frit had the ring, and I felt the pressure. I began to feel very frustrated and very anxious. I kept searching, but to no avail other than stress. Plus, I was just … heartbroken. I would miss her so desperately. And I didn’t want to leave our house. Our happy, peaceful, welcoming, spirit-filled-garden-in-the-back-neighbors-we-adore house filled with seven years of memories. I just wanted everything to stay how it was. Continue reading →

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