Yesterday in the Ladies’ Meeting

I was sitting in the front row, almost center. On either side of me sat a dozen women, with another row full behind me. Some rocked back and forth with babies cradled in their arms. Others sat quietly with wrinkled hands clasped delicately in their laps. And a few gingerly flipped through the scriptures open on their knee.

The hum of whispered chatter that begins the ladies’ meeting on Sundays is one of the happiest sounds I think I know.

Class began and the woman beside me read, “…Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”

That’s hard sometimes. To love your neighbor, that is. All of them. And without equivocation. Especially the prickly ones.

But as I thought about it, I came to some conclusions.

Loving your neighbor requires that you get outside yourself. You have to sidestep your bubble of life and extend your reach beyond your daily task list. I think we get so caught up in our “busy,” our “hurry,” our “need,” that we don’t see each other sometimes. Sure our eyes generally register that another human being is somewhere within the vicinity of our sight. But. We’ve got to start seeing each other. We’ve got to start looking the people in front of us in the eye, and seek to understand what’s behind the blue, or the brown, or the green. We’ve got to push the edges of our spheres out a bit and position ourselves inside opportunities to love another soul.

Loving your neighbor is easier when you know their story. Each of us is a vast library of collected works. We are chapters upon chapters of events and experiences and education. Some good. Some bad. Some happy. Some sad. And the sum of those stories equals our “why’s” for doing what we do, acting the way we act, thinking the way we think, and saying the things we say. But I have learned that love comes more easily and swiftly when you know those stories. Because the stories bring understanding. And understanding brings compassion. Yes. Loving someone is easier when you know their story.

Loving your neighbor is impossible without extending grace. No one is perfect. People don’t always say what you’d wish they’d say, or do what you wish they’d do. Sometimes they say hurtful things. Sometimes they say stupid things. Sometimes they don’t say anything—when they probably ought to. But. People are human. People forget. People don’t always know. So perhaps a better response to those disappointments or frustrations or annoyances is to simply give someone the benefit of the doubt. To remember that we’re all just trying to do our best. That sometimes our best comes out a mess. And just extend grace.

At the end of the lesson, the teacher made a passing comment that I think went mostly unnoticed, but was perhaps the most profound sentiment of the class. She said, “God makes amazing people.”

And I think she’s right.

God does make amazing people. And to love them is not just a commandment. It is a privilege.

Oh, I Do So Love the Dictionary

If someone really loved me, they would buy me an etymology dictionary for my birthday (which is in less than two months, by the way, in case you were wondering) For real. If I could go back to college and do it all over again, I would. And I would study the origin of words. That’s all. Just the origin of words, all. day. long. Is that even a possible major? Well. If not. I would petition the University to make it one. That’s how much I love etymology. I mean … listen to this:

Behold: comes from a Mid English word meaning “to keep”, which came from the Old English word behealdan, meaning “to hold”. The current definition is “to perceive through sight or conception.”

Perceive: comes from the Latin word percapere meaning “thoroughly to take”. The current definition is “to attain awareness or understanding, to become aware through the senses.”

Now the word Desire: It comes from the Latin word desiderare, meaning “long for, wish for; demand, expect.” The current definition is to long for, express a wish for. To request.” The dictionary goes on to say that desire stresses the strength of feeling and often implies strong intention or aim.

So interesting, no? Enlightening.

As I read the scriptures this morning, I found that I was paying close attention to what certain people desired. And then I began noting what they were “beholding.” And in understanding the words more deeply, I understood the Word more deeply.

I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy … wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit. … And … I beheld a river of water; and it ran along, and it was near the tree of which I was partaking the fruit … and I beheld your mother … And … I beckoned … with a loud voice that they should come unto me, and partake of the fruit, which was desirable above all other fruit. (–Lehi, a prophet in the Book of Mormon. Reference.)

And I … was desirous also that I might see, and hear, and know of the these things, by the power of the Holy Ghost, which is the gift of God unto all those who diligently seek him, as well in times of old as in the time that he should manifest himself unto the children of men … And the angel said unto me again: Look and behold the condescension of God! And I looked and beheld the Redeemer of the world … And I beheld that he went forth, ministering unto the people. (–Nephi, Lehi’s son. Reference here and here.)

Resolved

It always seems that I gear up for momentous occasions/holidays/events, excited for the pivot point I anticipate it to be in my life, only to be met with disappointment and morning-after-let-down that it didn’t turn out to be quite as life-altering as I projected it to be.

And yet, I still herald New Year’s (new weeks, new days, etc.) with the hope that it will dawn bright and with faith that change is indeed possible.

The older I get, however, the more I understand that it’s not so much in the event that change is made. It is in the choice–regardless of the date.

To be different today, to be something better, to make something meaningful, to do something remarkable, depends not upon the occasion, but rather — upon me.

So while I’m grateful for the cycle and seasons of life and time that give me reason to pause and reflect, I find I’m particularly aware on this first day of our next trip around the sun, of where I am now, of what I want, of what stands in my way, and of the choices I need to make–deliberately from moment to moment–to actually live the life I have resolved.

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It is not enough to want to make the effort. It’s in the doing, not just the thinking, that we accomplish our goals. -Thomas S. Monson