A while back I received a comment that said something to the affect that I should give Frit her own advice column here. The commenter was right (thanks Meghan!). Frit does give great advice. So today I present the first in a new series … “Ask Frit”–kinda like Dear Abby, but WAY better. So if you have a question–about ANYTHING–leave it in the comment box below or send me an email and then I’ll have her answer your questions periodically and offer her stellar advice. Think of it as my gift to you. I’m nice like that. So since this is new … I’ll start off with my own questions. This is stuff I’ve needed advice on for a while.
Me: What should I do about the neighbor’s cats who keep pooping in our backyard?
Frit: Make ‘em eat it. Or better yet…make the neighbors eat it. Maybe that’ll teach ‘em to keep those darn cats inside.
Me: What should I do about the plantars warts I got the last time I went for a pedicure?
Frit: Take them back to that place you got them from and plant those warts on their faces. Then when they look at each other maybe they’ll remember … to clean out those dirty, warty, nasty tubs (let this be a warning for all who enjoy … or used to enjoy a good pedicure – USE PROTECTION!).
[See I've got a lot of great advice.]
Me: What sorts of things should I teach the girls, or do with the girls, this week up at Youth Conferecne?
Frit: Maybe what you should do is let them teach you a thing or two.
Me: What should I do to get more dates?
Frit: Shower. Put a bra on. I think that should do it.
Me: Thank you. Thank you very much. This has been mighty insightful. All my problems are solved.
If YOU have a question or a dilemma that needs solving, let us know! Frit’s ready and waiting.
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Frit, where have you been all my life? I love your advice.
I’m useless at decorating my home. Where’s a good place to start?
How can I get my kids to speak more respectfully…oh, and eat more veggies?