I didn’t expect to feel the relief I felt when I shut the door behind him. I’ve known for a little while now that this wasn’t what I wanted. Wasn’t what I needed. And ultimately wasn’t for me. But I held on. Because letting go is scary. Because I thought–hoped–it could maybe, possibly become what it needed to be if we just gave it time. Because I liked him. I really did. Because it was so good in the beginning. Because it was “something” after a long while of nothing.

But something isn’t better than nothing–even though I’ve been trying to talk myself into believing that for a couple weeks now–especially when it’s not right.

He was here less than 24 hours this time. He was kind. He always is. And we laughed. And we had fun together. But in the end it just wasn’t what it needed to be. For either of us. And so he left this morning. After an hour of cuddling, a few tears, and a hug.

And that’s the end of this chapter in my life.

B: Thank you. Thank you for the time we had together. Thank you for your kindness. You’re a good man and I’ll always think of these six months with total contentment and no regret. Our late night phone calls were the highlight of my New Year. Meeting you was a blessing. Dating you was a gift. And I want you to know. It’s okay. I’m okay. xo, me