At The Ocean’s Edge

The air was filled with the familiar scents of my youth–the sweet stench of oyster beds and marsh mud laced with salt water.
The sun was high and bright, and as I emerged from the shadows of the sidewalk awnings, the light hit my face, my head involuntary tilting back so that every curve and angle of my face had full advantage of the warmth. My eyes closed and I took a breath so deep it felt like my lungs were in my toes. Within moments, I could feel the yellow rays seeping into my pores, probing past my skin, reaching through my muscles, and settling into my core.
For when the sun calls, my soul responds.

And the sky. The sky was …

Cloudless.
A perfect blue.
The kind of blue I dream in.

I’ve walked those docks a million times. They were an extension of home. In fact, during the stifling months of summer, I often spent more time there, at the ocean’s edge, than I did inside our four humble walls on Indian Trail. I grew up living a life others envy. An island girl with a captain for a dad. And today, as I visited this truly, enchanting place, the nethermost regions of my soul came alive.

As soon as I placed one foot on the deck, my body instinctively knew how to respond to the gentle rocking of boat in water as waves lapped against the hull. I was like a baby in a cradle. Fitting, seeing that as a baby, my mother would put me in the cradle she kept in the engine room while she and my dad greeted tourists and showed them the dream world we lived in. And there I would sleep, rocking back and forth, back and forth, as we cruised down the sound. To this day, there is nothing, not even a Zambian, that can carry me off to golden slumbers like the roar of those Twin Cummins NT8 55 diesel engines.

And so the tour begins …
“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and welcome aboard the Holiday. She is safe, sturdy and comfortable, so everyone please sit back, relax and enjoy the cruise. We’re certainly glad everyone could join us for today’s dolphin watch nature tour. I’d like to introduce your crew to you, my name is Captain Mark of Hilton Head Island …”

My sisters and I have Dad’s entire narration memorized by heart. We recite it sometimes, and laugh at its predictability. But sometimes, when I am alone in the desert I now call home, I recite it just so I don’t feel so far away. I recite it so I don’t forget where I come from. So I don’t forget the things I know.

For because of this childhood education, between shrimp boats and slip knots, I can point out a great blue heron, a snowy egret, and a white ibis. I know the average wingspan of a brown pelican and can tell whether the tide is ebbing or flooding. I know when to harvest oysters and can cast a shrimp net with ease. I know how to catch crabs, sand dollars, and starfish. I know my port from my starboard and my bow from my stern. I know which “rope” is the spring line and how many species of shark live in our waters. I know how many acres of saltwater marshes exist in South Carolina and no matter how many times I’ve seen a dolphin surface, I’m always filled with scintillating awe.
After two hours cruising the creek and searching the sound, it was over. All too soon.
In so many ways, my day on the water in this land of perfect charm was … perfect.
It did me good to drink the sun and fill my belly with the lowcountry.
And it does me good to share with you this place from which I come.
Perhaps I’ll share more tomorow. Yes, quite.


(Shelter Cove Harbour, Hilton Head Island)

December To Do’s: UPDATE

Oh, you want to know how my December To Do List is coming?
How kind of you to ask. Well, let’s see …

1. Make real gingerbread cookies

a-like-so:
They were perfect! Sooo soft and chewy, and not too gingery. I must admit–I find so much satisfaction in baking from scratch. Frit and I had a million laughs piping the homemade royal icing onto these beauties. I’m particularly proud of my snowflakes:
These cookies were QUITE the hit.

Chapter 1: The Quest

On a chilly November morn, two brave, beautiful ladies-in-waiting (oh how they’re waiting!) embarked on a crusade. A crusade not to be taken lightly. The quest would not only test their courage and stunning good looks, but more importantly, challenge the capacity of their brains and brawn (of which they luckily possess an ultra-abundance). The quarry?

To find (dun, dun, dun) … “The Perfect Christmas Tree.” Oh how difficult a task! A decision of vast consequence I dare say! And what with all the variables (is it too tall? too short? to fat? too sparse? strong boughs? flimsy arms? dry needles? sappy bark?), finding “The Perfect Christmas Tree” is sure to pose a daunting, but certainly conquerable charge for these two capable ladies-in-waiting (oh how they’re waiting!).

And thus, they begin their journeyings at the land West Bountiful. Over hills, over dales, these two lovelies hit the dusty trails until … they happen upon …

Kapp’s Tree Farm
At the mouth of Odgen Canyon, off highway 84, on the way to Mountain Green, in the middle of the Wasatch-Cache National Forest.
Oh yes. This IS the place! Hillside upon hillside of trees for every persuasion!
Let’s see how they fare …

Upon reaching their destination,
they wind in and out of spruces and pines and furs (oh my!) until they find …

Nay. I think not.
Er … she’s a little top heavy dontcha think?
Looks more like a moose than a Christmas tree.

And so. They keep climbing. Higher and higher. And higher. Burning quads and calf muscle spasms can’t stop these two! Only the site of (hold on, let me catch my breath) … ok … only the site of THIS could stop them in their tracks (well. maybe this or a plate of Starbucks’ Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins). But could THIS be the tree?

No. Not a chance.
Oh Charlie! Where Art Thou?

(Poor little tree. And if no one takes him, he will never be able to fill the measure of his creation. That is — to be dressed in twinkling lights, covered in strings of popcorn, wrapped with tinsel, and proudly don a glittering star atop his head of course.)

And thus we see, our two heroines are striking out at every turn.
Where, oh where, has their perfect tree grown?!

To rejuvenate their spirits, they turn to playing games. Like …

Where’s Frit?
(Very similar to Where’s Waldo? Actually it’s exactly the same as Where’s Waldo?)
(you probably can’t even see her. She’s very tree-like.)

OK. Enough horsing around.
But WAIT! [all characters stop dead in their tracks]
What to their wondering eyes did appear?!
dut, duh, duh, dah! the trumpets sound!

Could it be? Oh yes. Yes, that’s her.
(don’t ask me how I know the difference between boy trees and girl trees.
It’s a sixth sense I have. Akin to my pumpkin gender-identifying abilities.)

The Perfect Christmas Tree.
Isn’t she lovely? (cue Stevie Wonder)

[And now pretend that I didn't forget to take a picture of The Perfect Christmas Tree before we chopped her down.]

Our ladies-in-waiting (did I mention they’re waiting? oh how they’re waiting!) are beaming with pride. They have climbed every hillside. They have sweat with determination. They have sworn with conviction. And sometimes just sworn. But they have come off conquerors.
They are bringing home the prize.

Chapter 2: Haul Out the Holly and Gussy Up that Tree — She’s naked!
(tune in tomorrow)

Side by Side

Her name is Kim. I call her Frit. My name is Krista. She calls me Kristafer.
Sometimes we call each other Cook (short for Cookie), because one night when she came home from a date — I was already in bed — she came in to tell me about it and the first thing I said in my Ambien (we call them Zambians)-state-of-delirium, in which I am not held accountable for ANYTHING I utter, was “Hi Cookie. How was you date?” But anyway …


If I can’t sleep, she scratches my back till I’m out.
If she has a bad dream, I let her crawl in my bed till the creepies go away.

She has a pajama top with a permanent mascara stain from the time I cried (hard) on her shoulder.
I have a drawer full of 4 years of notes she’s left in life’s unsuspecting places.

She held my hair back while I puked for 3 days with the Influenza.
I held her hand after a break-up.

She makes me gut-laugh.
I make her dinner.

She loves it when I rock-out to The Office’s theme song.
I love it when she leaves her made-up songs on my voicemail.

She forgives me when my mind sometimes wanders while she’s talking to me and I say, “Wait. I wasn’t listening. What did you say?”
I forgive her when she hides around corners, under tables, behind beds, at the top of the stairs, and jumps out at just the right moment and scares the Holy love of God right out of me.

She knows my darkest corners.
I know when she needs help but won’t ask.

She prays for me.
I pray for her.

She teaches me that I can do this.
I teach her my sweet dance moves.

She rubs my feet when I say please.
I sing for her when she says please.
(tell me THAT’s not an awesome trade!)

We may be single. But we are not alone.
It’s sure nice to have someone to come home to.

For more posts about Frit, click here.

2 Little Pumpkins Sitting On a Porch: A TRUE STORY

Usually the pumpkins on our porch sit sweetly, like this:

But the other day, we pulled into the driveway only to find them sitting like this:
I immediately jumped to conclusions like
a) the wind must have been particularly strong that afternoon and blew our pumpkins off the stoop and perfectly onto the first step
b) the neighborhood children had a rousing punkin-bowl-a-thon or
c) those stray dogs who run through our garden (and squash my begonias!) mistook them for tennis balls and didn’t return them to quite the right spot
But after a little investigating, I found out that this squirrelly little duo had a VEE-ry busy day.

Here’s how it went down (at least this is the word on the street) …

As soon as the garage door closed and my car was safely around the corner, Patty and Petunia (what? so I named the pumpkins on my porch. what’s it to you?)
hopped down from their much debated position and …

Spent the morning practicing for the upcoming gourd-tet (ha! come on. that’s funny!). Apparently, Patty has a lovely alto voice.

THEN, they threw back a couple cold ones and relaxed in the rockers.

After such strenuous morning activities,
they decided to kick up their feet and watch their favorite movie (Elf),

take a splash in the jacuzzi,

and surf the net.
But here’s the kicker!
As the day drew to a close, they raided my make-up, and got all gussied up …

… just to meet those rascally neighbor pumpkins, who are of course of the male persuasion (don’t ask me how to tell the difference), who live across the street.
(you should have seen me sneaking over to our neighbor’s porch trying to take THAT picture!)

Petunia’s had her eye on them since they moved in last month. Whaat a day!

I guess with all the excitement, they just couldn’t make it up that last step before we got home.
I suppose I am going to have to keep a better eye on our naughty little pumpkins. And you should keep an eye on yours too. Especially with Patty and Petunia on the prowl.

December To Do’s

(Sorry for all the lists. Apparently I’m on a list-kick these days.)

1. Make real gingerbread cookies
2. Sit by our freaking-awesome! Christmas tree all lit up and cozy, whilst sipping hot chocolate and listening to Christmas music at LEAST once a week (this should happen more, but judging by how often I’m home these days, once a week is probably all it’ll be)
3. Finish the painting I’ve been working on for my sis
4. Survive the Carols (Get your tickets here!) while guiding the show toward a smashing success
5. Make a snowman (if the snow ever comes)
6. Finish The Book of Mormon & the 2 other books I started simultaneously
7. Be a “regular” at the gym
8. Build my 2009 budget
9. Write, print, and send my Christmas letter before I go home
10. Go to Church on Christmas Eve
11. Buy a Barret and wear it frequently